AMORC Unmasked

Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships-

Take Back Your Life
by Janja Lalich and Madeline Tobias

# 7

Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships-

 

A powerful book on recovery as discussed
by Occult Whistleblower, Pierre S. Freeman
Experiencing Recovery

 

Ah, recovery! What a wonderful word!

I remember the wonderful feeling of rebirth when I cut my ties completely with AMORC for the very last time. And just like Lalich and Tobias report, the fact that there was this wonderful feeling of liberation did not exclude other emotions like, doubt, regret, relief and fear as to what would come.
As mentioned before, my chief emotion was anger, anger that this spurious cult had  imprisoned me through false promises and Mind Control techniques.
The only way I could channel my extreme anger was to focus my energy on ridding the world of this spurious organizations. It is an effort that has taken much time and residual money but it has given me back a measure of self-confidence and a sense of control over my destiny as a whistleblower taking on Goliath.
Still, after so much of my day totally controlled by AMORC, it was hard to leave the old rituals. Take my experience during the evening and the morning: I would keep a glass of water by my bed, what I have called my ‘sleepytime holy water,’ that would be permeated the ever-expanding vibrations emanating from my night time excursions; I would wake up and think about the Invisible Masters and Celestial Sanctum that had protected me and take deep breaths in bed before getting up and doing the salutation to the sun, extending my arms to form a Rosy Cross and then recite a Rosy Cross mantra.  And it went on, day after day, night after night, with tons of reading, affirmations, visualizations, initiations, special breathing exercises, special postures before you to sleep.
Being free left me a bit empty and a bit indecisive- as Lalich and Tobias point out as a typical trait for someone recently exiting a cult. I now had to steer with my own rudder. I slowly began to find my way in a world that I had missed for twenty-six years. After thinking I was part of a spiritual elite, it took effort sometimes to relate to the ordinariness of my actual life. Part of me longed for the comfort of the elitism I had basked in- but part of me clearly realized it was a Mind Control-induced feeling that I had to abandon to stay really sane. Often I would catch myself thinking- or somehow fantasizing- that I was under the protection of the egregor and could return whenever I wanted. But eventually the real world would catch up to me and show me that I was safer in the real world than in the fantasy world generated by AMORC, which part of me, post exiting from AMORC, was still clinging to.
For some time, I would still ‘float,’ go into a semi-trance-like state, which would mean that, to a degree, I felt disassociated from the world. There were daymeres, where I would seemingly go into a very, vivid dream state without sleeping. And then there were still spontaneous bouts with my anger at AMORC, H. Spencer Lewis and the current Imperator. It took several years before I could settle into my mission in a more rational, strategic way.  I am still angry but it does not control me.
As I move forward in my effort to spread the word about AMORC, I am heartened by some of the people I have helped and the fact that AMORC is not going to ever forget what they did to me and that, after it was over, I did not sit back but became a watchdog to protect others from settling into that destructive, fantasy-laden pathway to losing one authentic self by those who wished to perpetuate the illusion of a powerful, spiritual elite.
I thank Lalich and Tobias for contributing to my liberation. Take Your Life Back is a book well worth reading for anyone remotely needing help exiting from a dangerous cult.

 

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